Ruminations of a Woman

Grew up with four brothers in a male dominated neighbourhood with the most chauvinistic person that I’ve ever met …my own mother. Gave up ballet to follow football just to join in. Was a real tomboy, would hang out with the boys, never afraid of critters or fireworks and rode motorbikes.

Worked three jobs in order to travel. Got a job at the library straight from school keen to become a librarian but that very year they decided to only apprentice men as women might get pregnant and leave. Then tried to get a house loan to buy a nice shack by the river and although I earned enough to pay the mortgage there was no loan without a male guarantor.

So with job and home dreams shattered I booked my passage to London on a freight ship, the start of my big adventure. But a week before departure they called to offer a full refund. They took only fifteen passengers, the other fourteen were male, and all the crew were too. A cousin talked me into taking his dream overland trip to London.

And so it goes on … worked mainly with men in my professional career as bosses, peers and clients. Worked for years in child protection, adoption and juvenile delinquency so exposed to the worst we can do. Had to be twice as good but always paid less and never entitled to housing in remote locations.

Society and my parents demanded I marry well, become a good housewife and raise young ones. Had some pretty special men in my life and they all saw me as the mother of their children but I knew this wouldn’t work. I would never let my child be with others as abuse comes from family or close friends, seldom ever a stranger. Would have been a total helicopter parent so avoided that pitfall and failed to fulfil societal expectations.

So on International Women’s Day we might pause to recall all the challenges and biases we’ve faced. It made us much stronger yet we allow men to make the laws and choose which ones they will enforce, still leaving the vulnerable unprotected. Their wages are higher, they get the promotions and all the fringe benefits. Entitled they get to do as they please … they dominate politics, religions, business, sports, movies and families. Sure some women achieve too but what toll does that take?

Women are not equal to men we are stronger and more capable! We conceive, give birth, raise families and run households; we endure rape, abuse, put downs and much more. And sadly too many others suffer with us … our children and minorities of every kind – those of different race, religion, physical or mental challenges, or gender complications.

So if you’re a privileged white man think deeply about this – how do you treat the women in your life? With love, respect and tenderness? Encourage and support your partner, daughters and female colleagues? I’m not radical or different just your average person who loves men to bits but also know the drill.

This is the longest post I’ve written, not meant to offend and hoping it might lead to a bit more understanding?

Daily Prompt:  Ruminate

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24 comments

  1. Sharing honest feelings with positive intent should be accepted on these grounds. We are all free to express and believe as we choose to. Those willing to read with an open mind may learn; those adamant in rigid ideology are free as well, however, more inclined to live their lives within self imposed limitations.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s nice to see you be more open lately. I wonder though, if women are just as smart as men, but also stronger and more capable, what would the world be like. Would we have a female dominated society where men can’t find jobs or compete with women? Hmm

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Phillip, would love to see you open up? Know zero about you …

      I would like to think women would be far kinder than that, after all many are mothers of sons also! But history does indicate that if people are oppressed for too long they can become tyrants when they come to power. Don’t appreciate your term “IF” Phillip, sounds very patronising?

      Liked by 1 person

      • I did a guest post awhile back where I share some things about myself in an interview.
        Here’s the link: https://atrangizindagieksafar.com/2016/12/24/guest-post-phillip-caesar/

        Sorry, if I came across as patronizing. The “if” was because you said that women were not equal to, but stronger and more capable than men. While I can see how you would think that, it is a very subjective matter that I can’t outright agree with. I have no doubt that women are just as smart as men. I just added it to make the point that if what you say is true, then in a world where women are treated equally(which I meant to say) men may be at a disadvantage.

        Liked by 1 person

          • I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Maybe I need to be more careful how I word my sentences. I just want to say that I wasn’t offended when you said that women are stronger or more capable than men. Neither would I be offended if you said that women were smarter than men. Does it really matter? We can’t let the circumstances of this world make us think that we are in competition with eachother.

            Liked by 1 person

            • No competition here! I think we are very evenly matched in intelligence but do know that I had to be stronger and more capable than my male colleagues just to gain credibility. So oppression does hone our skills. And am sure my male counterparts could also have been more capable and strong but they didn’t have the same motivation, their jobs and higher wages were always secure so they lacked that extra incentive to excel. Appreciate your participation, thanks Phillip.

              Liked by 1 person

  3. loved this post on Ruminate… as i “Ruminate” on ur words above a whole bag of worms could open. But will stick to the post at hand, I being and eldest daughter all girls and having a “victim” as a single mother. she played her roll well with men. I decided to take a different route. I became “Man” “Male”… the sexiest one you could imagine lol. I am not a lesbian and do love men, but after watching my mom and her ways I decided to play the game different. As a child the best “tomboy” and as a woman I was the their closest friend that did not dress sexy till there was a party or an event…. then like cinderella I would change. I loved seeing the reaction on the faces of my male friends and colleges … then it was back to dressing down. We as women do play so many different rolls to be heard & respected from the male dominated world out there. But I must say that we do need to “Let” men feel they are on top, if not they would have no purpose.
    I hope, I did not offend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing your story!

      A funny episode I recall was the strong reaction at the local police station – rural remote outback area – when told they would get their first female officer. The swearing and carry on about a ‘tom tits’ could never handle the job … I looked down at my bazookas and said but I do. And they replied but you’re one of us eg not seen as a woman because I had passed their many tests eg drinking comps; suicide and DV visits, etc!

      You are right about men needing to feel on top, Spanish women do that very well!

      Like

  4. I absolutely agree with what you say! Very well stated.

    When I look back upon my life, I realize most of my power moments came as a result of intelligent, thoughtful, women. All of these women were interested in my development as a human being, and I responded in a positively human way: I grew intellectually, spiritually, and sexually. I have always placed those women above me. They were never stepping stones nor were they competitors. They were just smart, and thank God, I had enough sense to listen to them and learn. I think that’s why I have always loved Homer’s epic The Odyssey, (Fitzgerald translation). Odysseus would have never made it home, had it not been for women from the beautiful Circe to the strong Athena. He was helpless without them.

    I firmly believe when men rule the world-you have war. When women rule the world-you have peace. When we get rid of socially constructed patriarchy, we will get rid of many evils. For instance, if you erased all of the male-centric remarks from the Bible, most of the old testament would disappear. Most of Paul’s letters would disappear and much of what remained would be the true words of Jesus.

    Liked by 1 person

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